Who Am I?

 

Selfish.

Introvert. Pessimistic.

Sick and full of hurts.

A lone woman living in her unrealistic world.

Photo credits: momland.wordpress.com

I was that kind of woman. I was a person who lived a life that none would like to have. I was sickly ever since I was a kid. I developed a world that none could understand. I was selfish, even my feeling was something I did not want to share with. I was afraid. Scared. Because no one has succeeded to understand what I felt inside, the pain that I carry ever since young—the kind of pain that none could sympathize—unless the person will exchange hearts with me. The world I see was narrow, cruel. I was not comfortable with any eye contact, because I did not want people to see the kind of world hiding beyond my eyes. So I grew up disliking the crowd.

For the past eighteen years of my life (I was born again when I turned 19), I could say that I have wasted it all—for nothing. I have wasted it in a sense that: I did not create a happy childhood (even though I have some opportunities to do so), I did not mingle with other people aside from my relatives and long-term friends, I did not use my free time to make something relevant, I have not even realized how powerful a prayer is. I did not even know how to pray.

I was someone who USED most of her time in BED—bedridden and sick.

I was someone who COULD NOT play with the other children because I was weak.

I was someone WHO could not remember any happiness during my childhood days. I bet I did not have any.

But then, everything changed when I made a covenant with God. A covenant that has led me to what I am right now—a covenant that I am accountable of. I was seventeen when I made a covenant with God, and I promised Him of something in exchange of another chance—a chance to live once again.

Reviewing the past years, I realized how bad I had lived my life. I realized just how negative I was. If I died three years ago, then I know for certain that I’d go to hell. But the LORD our God is so gracious, He is gracious to me (and to you) that He has given me another chance to correct my life—to repent with my sins and to return to Him.

Who am I? I always ask myself. Who Am I—a woman who lived a life without seeing its beauty, a woman who blamed herself for being the person she was, a woman who cannot love because she chose not to love, a woman who thought her life was a mistakeWHO AM I then…that the LORD of all the earth, would even care to know my name, would care to feel my hurt?

It’s not because of who I am. But because of what He has done. Not because of what I’ve done, but because of who You are. I am just a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow, a wave tossed in the ocean, a vapor in the wind. Still You hear me when I’m calling, Lord, You catch me when I’m falling. And You’ve told me who I am:

I am Yours. 

(Lyrics from WHO AM I by Casting Crowns)

God has seen my troubles and He knows my pain even from the start, so when God sees my desiring heart (a desire to correct my mistakes, a desire to serve Him) then God made His way so that I can return back to Him! I am saved because I chose to believe in Him and ACCEPT Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, I chose to correct my mistakes with His help and mercy, I chose to have faith in His amazing grace. I choose to walk with Jesus. And I will not stake my life in any lesser thing, because Jesus died at the cross and shed His blood for me.

It happened to me, it happened to someone I know, and I believe it will HAPPEN TO YOU. Just go and examine your heart, and you will see that God is working all the things in your life. Apart from Him, we are nothing.

It was not because of my doings, it was not because I loved God, but it was because God has loved me first–that’s why I am here now, writing in whatever way I can to tell the nations that He is Mighty to Save! Our God is Mighty to Save–He will save you from your sufferings and pain if you choose to let Him help you! God will save you just as He has saved me!

I am twenty now. Turning 21. And it has been three years already (turning four) since I made a solemn promise with God. A promise to serve Him with all my heart and with all my soul. Three years of not doing anything since the covenant was wasted, and right now, I will not waste any time any further–and I will no longer abuse God’s amazing grace.

I will serve God with all my heart, and in every way I can, even if it means I will be discriminated and persecuted by my friends, family, or anyone else. I will not be easily shaken, for I myself have seen the miracles and glory that the LORD our God has done in my life. Three years is enough.

It is time.

It is time for me to serve Him in every way I can…until I finish the RACE.

And I will wait…for that BIG DAY to come…that He will say unto me: “Well done, good and faithful servant!”

It is time.

People must know the Truth because the Truth will set you free.

THE QUESTION IS: Do you want to untangle the chains in your life? Do you want to be set free? Are you tired of your life in its endless misery? Then go…repent. And decide to follow Jesus Christ as your LORD and Savior. Forgive others and you will be forgiven. Lay down your burdens to Him. You will see the difference. And you will know what I am talking about.

I pray that all my brethren, including those children in the streets, the homeless, the aged, the rich and everyone else, will know the TRUTH.

And the TRUTH will set us free.

God bless you all. And I love you with the love of the LORD.

Neen.

 

Jenine Silos

Blogger | Writer | Webmaster and a Food Lover | I Loves Jesus

Comments

  1. janlord01 says:

    wow…What a nice testimony..I’m so blessed :)

    WHO AM I that you are minded of me? O Lord..

    The general will of God is everyone will come in the Lord JESUS CHRIST and actually this is His ultimate Desire, that all men will come in the knowledge of the TRUTH (1 tim. 2:3-4). JESUS is truth ! ( john 14:6).

    Do you have burdens? Do you want to set free? Come to the Lord Jesus Christ and He will give you rest. (matthew 11:28).

    JESUS LOVES YOU.

    -Remnant-

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